Don't talk, it makes you look uglier.

Last night I went to see the dudes at the warehouse and had the grand pleasure of encountering the biggest douche bag of probably, all time. For starters he was bald, and had a line for a beard, and by line I mean there was simply a very straight, skinny line of hair that went from ear to ear. Adding to the j-wall line beard was a more than appropriate singular diamond earring. So walking in to the room you just knew his douche bagginess was going to run high, so we kept a close watch on him throughout the night to see what kind of antics he would be involved in. So the first band began. They were actually really good, I even enjoyed them more then the dudes, and I had no fucking idea who they were. So basically this opening band had a large fan base in Calgary that consisted of frat guys jumping a lot, singing loudly, and high-fiving. Luckily for our enjoyment, line beard douche bag was a member. Firstly, he would leap and bound his way through the crowd and high-five anyone that looked interested. The thing is though, when he would high-five he would put on this face where he puckered his lips really far out and spread his eyes into this ghastly collagen lipped freak face. Then he made what I believe to be the douchiest move in history...he reached over the stage, stole the bassists’ beer, and took a nice sip out of it, then returned it. WHO DOES THAT?! I'm sure he's flattered you put your herpes infested lips on his beer. Needless to say the bassist didn't take another sip.

What was even worse though was that his friends just thought he was the shit, and they even cheered on his disgusting displays. I almost think that made them bigger douche bags. Finally the dudes came on, and after 4 hours of waiting they were less than impressive, and so were the hoards of frat boy fans. When I got home I got home I was genuinely sore from standing for so long. I don't even know how I use to go to work and stand for 8 hours, then go to a show for another 18 and stand, because there were 35 opening bands and it took another 16 hours in between sets to get their shit together...but those sure were the days.

But I thought Perooze was a word?!

So I'm at work, thirsty and headachy, so I figure I need tea to relieve my symptoms, so I walk over to the nearest coffee shop. Upon arrival into the shop I'm asked if I am here for the speed dating, and I reply with "uhhh no, is that ok?!" It hadn't started yet so they let me order my tea and then made me leave. After feeling super awkward, I began to look around the room at all the people actually there for the speed dating, and it made me a little sad inside. What if someday I need to resort to speed dating!? These people weren't even ugly by any standard, and they all seemed fairly young, in their 30's most of them. I guess sometimes you need to try everything in order to get it right. I wasn't even planning to get married until my early 30's, if I find someone, and now this prospect is looking slim, because apparently when you reach your 30's there is no more time to contemplate your options, you'd better have someone snatched up, or you'll have to wait until the first timers begin divorcing in a few years. Then latch on to someone with ridiculous amounts of baggage just to avoid being terminally alone. That or a dog I guess.

She's precocious, and she knows just what it takes.

I won! Three cheers for sweet victory! It was a tight race, and apparently some other chick I didn’t know was almost going to win, but then I took the crown. I’m 4 years to late for popularity, but I’m not to concerned, because I’m going to bask in the glory for as long as I can. So Pram was amazing, as I only imagined it would be, and it makes me almost sad that I wasn’t able to graduate in the 80’s or 90’s because it was an exceptional time for apparel and music. So that is all, and now it’s 3 days of 10-hour shifts, and exceptional amounts of boredom. Needless to say I’m not looking forward to it, but the good thing is I will have money and I can use to it purchase impractical things, such as thigh high boots that can only be worn with certain skirts, to which I’ll need to purchase as well.