It’s probably Seasons Greetings, but only asshats say crap like that.
(sidenote: I’m making asshat popular in 2009. I think it has potential to reach a “douche bag” level of fame. But more on that later)
Merry Christmas lovely readers; I hope your holiday is filled with faux fire warmth, fruitcakes and knitted sweaters from your nanny. Oh, and Home Alone, because it's not Christmas without Macaulay Culkin's crazy antics.
The end has come. In just one day I’ll be finished classes, and in a little under 2 weeks I’ll be done all my papers, and subsequently, my undergrad career. Now, you’re probably all thinking, “this is so exciting Nicole! You’re done! No more papers!”
NOOO! YOU’RE WRONG!
This is not exciting...a life with out the constant stress of looming deadlines, preposterous academic jargon, and last minute paper writing is a life I don’t want to live! Part of me is excited, yes, because this semester has been nothing short of a nightmare, but the rest of me so desperately wants to sign up for courses in the winter and just continue on...never graduating, and never entering the real world. The second part of my unwavering fear is this “real world” everyone’s so quick to mention to me. I live in a real world thank you very much; it just doesn’t consist of a 9-5 job that I hate. But as much as I try to avoid the thought, come December 15th, I’ll be thrown right into that pitiful hell known as the real world...and I’ll be lost...completely and utterly fucking lost.
What will I say when people ask me what I do? I’m so use to firing off, “oh, I’m a student.” And their immediate response, “oh, cool, what are you taking?” But now it’ll be all, “well, I just graduated, and the economy reeks like shit, so I have no job prospects, and well I’m applying to grad school, but I’m not sure if my grades this semester are going to cut it, so I’ll be lucky if I get in...and if I don’t get in you ask, well, then I’ll cry.”
As much as I’ll miss that sweet aroma of academia, I won’t miss the institution know as the U of C. Wait...that’s not entirely true. I’ll miss stuffed buns, the ejaculatory covered circle couches, the 10th floor of the library, and getting drunk at noon on BSD...yea, I’ll miss all that.
Maybe I’ll take the optimistic high road, because now that I’m done toiling away with my academics I’ll be able to do all that stuff I’ve been meaning to do, like leisurely read! And watch lots of box sets! And potentially make money! And, if I really get the academic itch, I’ll begin writing papers for that sheer joy that only a well-written thesis statement can bring. And then I’ll post them here! Ahh, the glories of a blog.
Well, back to the papers. Wish me luck as I enter into unknown territory where people make more than 14 dollars an hour and don’t talk about the feminist nature of the ninja turtles.
And because it seems marginally appropriate:
Excuse me while I go drown myself in a vat of my own tears.
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