Don't talk, it makes you look uglier.

Last night I went to see the dudes at the warehouse and had the grand pleasure of encountering the biggest douche bag of probably, all time. For starters he was bald, and had a line for a beard, and by line I mean there was simply a very straight, skinny line of hair that went from ear to ear. Adding to the j-wall line beard was a more than appropriate singular diamond earring. So walking in to the room you just knew his douche bagginess was going to run high, so we kept a close watch on him throughout the night to see what kind of antics he would be involved in. So the first band began. They were actually really good, I even enjoyed them more then the dudes, and I had no fucking idea who they were. So basically this opening band had a large fan base in Calgary that consisted of frat guys jumping a lot, singing loudly, and high-fiving. Luckily for our enjoyment, line beard douche bag was a member. Firstly, he would leap and bound his way through the crowd and high-five anyone that looked interested. The thing is though, when he would high-five he would put on this face where he puckered his lips really far out and spread his eyes into this ghastly collagen lipped freak face. Then he made what I believe to be the douchiest move in history...he reached over the stage, stole the bassists’ beer, and took a nice sip out of it, then returned it. WHO DOES THAT?! I'm sure he's flattered you put your herpes infested lips on his beer. Needless to say the bassist didn't take another sip.

What was even worse though was that his friends just thought he was the shit, and they even cheered on his disgusting displays. I almost think that made them bigger douche bags. Finally the dudes came on, and after 4 hours of waiting they were less than impressive, and so were the hoards of frat boy fans. When I got home I got home I was genuinely sore from standing for so long. I don't even know how I use to go to work and stand for 8 hours, then go to a show for another 18 and stand, because there were 35 opening bands and it took another 16 hours in between sets to get their shit together...but those sure were the days.