Whatever, like, you know?

I’m in a blog frenzy these last few days…apparently I’ve got a lot to say. Actually, it’s more that I hate doing actual work, so instead I just write a bunch of gobbledygook (what a flipping fantastic word!), and then post it for you to read. Oh, beloved readers, you make the sun shine brighter... all 4 of you!

I was on myspace the other day, and I know what you’re thinking, “myspace is totally 2 years ago, you weirdo!” And yeah, sure, maybe it is, but sometimes I like to check it. One day someone’s going to send me a message on myspace telling me how cool and awesome I am, and then if I don’t log on, I’ll never see it, and we’ll never be friends, and that would be a right friggen tragedy.

So while I was on myspace, I found a survey, and thought to myself, “god, surveys are, like, so 2 years ago…I’m, like, totally going to do one!” – you see, being on myspace MADE me talk like that.

So I stole the survey, and then got really fed up with all the lame balls questions, so I deleted most of them and just kept a few that I actually wanted to answer.

1. How do you feel about the person who texted you last?

It was jeff. I feel great things for Jeff.

2. How's your heart lately?

It’s beating quite nicely. No murmurs to report. If I were Mandy Moore in Chasing Liberty though, i'd have to say "it's a little bit broken" and then make this "i'm so cute and tragic face"

3. Where is your phone?

You mean where is my blackberry? God, freaking simple-minded cell phone users! You’re all no-good bags of trash!

4. Do you like country music?

3 words: Garth. Fucking. Brooks.

5. Are looks important?

Attraction is all relative. You know, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” But there of course has to be a physical attraction or you’ve got nothing more than some ugly dude sitting in front of you.

6. Have you ever had someone sing to you?

Yes! I have actually. It was really cute and I just remembered about it right now. And, no, it wasn’t Taylor Hanson...but he did look deep and longingly into my eyes while he was singing, “mmmbop, dippadopppadooooboppp.” It was a beautiful moment in our blossoming relationship.

7. Do you believe in love?

Pshh, love’s overrated, just like Burger King and The Arcade Fire.

8. Will you get married?

I don’t know, why the hell don’t you tell me you lousy survey? Will I? Will I pop out some pesky rat children right after? Huh? You think I have all the damn answers! No! I don’t! And so what if I’m a spinster for the rest of my days??! Huh survey? What’s wrong with that?!!

7. Are you happy with yourself?

I’m awesome, why wouldn’t I be.

8. Who's the funniest drunk person you know?

Who wrote this survey? Seriously! Jump off a 3rd floor balcony!

9. When was your last encounter with the police?

Who's asking?! I’ve had a few actually. Why don’t I tell you about one. One time, in high school, after having a toga party, we took a venture on over to the local watering hole (swimming pool) where we were going to sneak in for a late night dip. On the way there, in a drunken mess of a state, my friend and I decided to moon this mini van. Funny, I know. Turns out said mini van was an off duty cop. He pulled over and yelled a bit, and showed us his badge, and then drove off. We then proceeded to illegally sneak into the public pool. I was some kind of awesome back then.

10. Do you regret some things you've done in 2008?

I figure, why regret anything? What you do makes you who you are, right? It’s stupid to dwell on things that you can never change. Just embrace them. One day you’ll look back at it and laugh... or cry... you know, whatever.

11. What did you want to be when you were a kid?

I wanted to be a few things. I first wanted to be Elizabeth Manly.





















She was so awesome, but my mom told me I was too tall to be a figure skater. Sad, I know. Then I wanted to be a doctor. That dream was really short lived. And now, I want to be a retiree, and live the sweet life eating fig newtons in my 1986 Chieftain 26' Winnebago...