So I’m thinking I should probably write a self-help book. I had an idea for one a couple years ago, but I never really went through with it. It was intended to be more of a pessimistic view to life. For example, my first helpful tip was going to be “expect nothing out of situations and you’ll never be disappointed!” Sure, it sounds horribly depressing, but trust me, it’s not! Lets look at a couple examples.
For one: first dates. If you go into a first date expecting absolutely noting out of it, then even if it’s just moderately fun, you won’t be disappointed. Now, if you expect for it to go really well and are really optimistic about it, and it turns out to be, once again, only moderately fun, well, then you’re going to be really disappointed.
Another example: job interviews. You can’t go in expecting you’re going to get the job because then if you don’t you’re going to be, I repeat, disappointed! (Are we seeing a trend here?) Rather, if you go in expecting nothing, you’ll walk away unaffected. Now, I’m not telling you to expect the worst out of situations...I’m merely suggesting that you learn to expect nothing.
Obviously this is not a helpful tip for the majority of people who are “glass half full” type folk. But for people like me, who like to avoid the perils of disappointment, it’s a rule I try to live by.
But this is not what this post was destined to be about.
I decided yesterday I’d write a self-help book for lost university graduates. I even researched on Amazon to see if there were already a lot of these books, but to my surprise, it appears as though all the self-help books directed at my peer group are about how to succeed fiscally post-convocation. None of them were about how to deal with the sheer boredom you face without term papers and classes, or about just how lost you feel in the real world.
Though, I’m thinking I’m going to have to get myself through these post-graduate blues before I start throwing out advice to other sore losers. Though! I'm on the right track because come April 6th, I'm going to be officially employed at a 9 to 5 job, business casual clothes and all!
Though, if I started writing the book right now, chapter one would be still be something along the lines of:
“Save yourself the grief and disappointment…JUST FUCKING STAY IN SCHOOL!”
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2 comments:
I was going to comment on the freaky picture of Ryan Adams and how he looks like Drop Dead Fred but somehow that article vanished. Is there a self-help book about that?
Wow I sure have taught you lots:
a) never think glass half full
b) (oprah actually deemed the term - expect nothing and never be disappointed - which you know I preach)
c) and how often did I say "LOVE SCHOOL CAUSE IT SUCKS AFTERWARDS"
I better be in the acknowledgements of this self help book - and its a great idea...maybe you should go back to school and learn 'how to write a self help novel' - double whammy, you're back in school, you can do something with your life to get started on the book and...well that's all I got.
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