*What I bet you’re now thinking: NO YOU DIDN’T! You’re still ugly! Hahahahah.
There, now you don’t have to think of that clever insult yourself. Look at me, such a fucking Samaritan.
Ok, back to Nick. So times were rough for BSB after the wonderful 90s left their side. They had to resort to having families or trying for solo careers. Nick decided on the latter, though he should have really just started performing on broadway (I hear that’s what all the washed up pop idols are doing these days). But apparently Nick just turned into a drug addict. Oh! What’s that? You didn’t know he was an addict?! Well neither did I, until I stumbled across this little video of him on Ellen:
Oh, and here's a better look at that nice little picture of him in People:
Like what the fuck Nick Carter? Where did those abs come from good sir? Maybe you’d like me to rub some oil on them??
ANYWAYS!
He’s always been the one that was on the verge of being fat, but now he’s kind of hot, and ripped, and I hate myself for having to say that. But really, HE WAS NEVER AN ADDICT! Sure, Aaron Carter was addicted to meth, but in all that time I never once heard that Nick was any kind of addict.
I’m calling a publicity stunt. He got hot and now he needs to play the sympathy card so he’s going to throw out this sad moronic story about his no good parents feeding him beer when he was two. Yea right Nick, you’re such a liar.
Just you wait. Give him 6 months and he’ll have a solo career, a clothing line, and a cameo on Extreme Makeover: Home Addition. Then he’ll yap non-stop about his fucking fake addiction and how it changed his life.
Puke.
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1 comment:
Regrettably Kevin?! What is that? If anyone is regrettable, it's Howie. I like how "I Want it That Way" is the song that's playing when he comes onto stage. Also, what the hell? Who doesn't have a picture of them hilariously taking a drink of something when they're little. "Maybe that's where it started" shut the eff up.
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