Maybe you would've been something I'd be good at.

I came to a realization last night about two things. One is that 90's teen horror flicks were amazing! Why did I fail to remember this? Me and Liz watched Urban Legends last night and from the beginning I was certain I knew who the killer was, I thought well clearly it's not the crazy looking Janitor, or the teacher with the axe in his office, but that it most definitely is the cute journalist played by Jared Leto, in his post-mysocalledlife days...but pre-iminaterribleband days. It was an incredible time for him, it's just sad that he thought he was good at music. Any ways, back to how awesome Urban Legends was. So we thought we knew the killer was all along, and having previously seen the movie, you would think that we should have actually known, but no, they fooled us, big time and we were completely thrilled by this. Maybe it was the fact that we probably saw the movie when we were 12, but this time around it was beyond good, and I just feel the need to consistently say that it was AWESOME!

The second thing I realized, after returning from driving Liz home, is that I hate elevators. I knew this before, but last night I realized that I should speak about this fear. I hate them for several reasons. Firstly because they are SO awkward. I don't think there is a more awkward location for two strangers to be, and it's even worse when it is in a place you live, because some people feel the need to have to say "hey" or "how's it going" just because apparently we are neighbours. This then makes the situation even more awkward then previously thought, because then you have to reply with "hey" or "great, and u" when you frankly don't give a shit about this person and you just want to get into your car. So after your brief interaction there is usually a long awkward lull where you both stare in opposite directions and attempt to look as though you are either counting the floors left to scale, or you are pondering your newest work endeavour, whatever the case may be, you know that you are only thinking about how goddamn awkward this situation is. Sometimes there are those neighbours that will just talk your face off all elevator ride, and sometimes I enjoy those people, but more times I’d rather just lazily gaze at the numbers changing then engage in a conversation about how the mold has become toxic on the 19th floor, and how awful it is about the vandals. Usually the people that engage in these elevator conversations are 40 year old women, or 40 year old gay men, and clearly they are one in the same.

Finally there is the positioning in the elevator. Usually when I get on I try to find a nice space near the wall, kind of in the corner. Sometimes though the elevator is full and you are left to stand immediately in front of the door, with you nose inches away, and you'd rather risk nasal decapitation then turning around and having to awkwardly face all the other elevator riders. Then someone will always have to get off the elevator before your stop, and then you have the ever so tedious task of getting off the elevator for them to exit, and you always end up doing this half twirl type thing where you turn and then bump into the person and then go "oh, ugh, god, sorry" meanwhile everyone else in the elevator is wondering how this buffoon ever made it out their front door.

I think the worst thing in the world would be to be stuck in a elevator with an stranger, or maybe even a pack of strangers. What would you talk about? Because I can almost guarantee the "we are stuck in an elevator" convo would quickly run dry. Do you talk about your life? Make friends? Sit in silence? Panic and make the other person fear for their life? Continuously yell help? Play 20 questions? I don't know!? I think I've thought about this far too much for my own good, but I feel that someday, after years of elevator riding, I will come up with the perfect resolution to all these elevator quarrels, and everyone will be happy again. But until that day…